Justin D’Souza About 170 words INTD 105 Science Writing SUNY Geneseo
Water: A Basic Human Need Regardless of Culture
Regardless of politics, religions, and cultural differences, all humans are the same when it comes to our basic need for life giving water. Josie Glausiusz portrays a land, the Gaza strip, where warring Israeli and Hamas forces have clashed over control of the territory. Unfortunately, because of this conflict, the water treatment plants there have fell into disarray, and now 80,000 cubic meters of raw sewage flows into the sea, and onto beaches “where children play.” Unfortunately, both sides are understandably more concerned with the threat of wartime attacks to help solve the crisis, even with the help of multinational organizations like EcoPeace. If the two sides could share ideas, the crisis may be resolved.
I can see these ideas connecting to global warming in America. Although we are not in a major war, politicians have made the issue into a political one, and both parties are at odds over the extent and scale of the problem. However, the tale of Gaza shows that we cannot solve anything when such polarization exists.
I really liked how you started your post with a strong fact like that it is undeniable that all humans need water. I think that you can state your opinions without using “I” so much, and I was able to get what your opinion was in the first paragraph without you using “I” in the beginning.
I like how you are able to distinguish the most important facts from the not so important and then incorporate it into our article. I also how the in the last sentence you are able to draw your own conclusion from the ideas of the article.
Your article states the facts clearly and coherently, and you make an active effort to recognize that the sewage pollution isn’t the fault of any one political unit. I appreciate your impartiality, but I’m curious if the lack of blame correlates to the lack of responsibility. For example, if we collectively blamed Israel for not allowing the treatment plant to function, would Israel take responsibilty for its inaction and approve the necessary supply requests?